I’m going to try to make this short winded, but no promises. I know everyone chooses how to bring their baby into the world differently & that’s the beauty of it. This is what we chose and thought was best for our baby while in labor.
Monday 12/13/2021
I woke up around 3:30 AM with bloody show at 40 weeks and 5 days pregnant. If you know my past history, you know the blood can be a trigger from my miscarriage. Around 7:30 am, contractions woke me up out of bed. They were very uncomfortable, but not totally the worst thing ever. I tried to call back asleep and couldn’t, so I laid there reading a book and cuddling the pups.
By about 8:30, I could tell they we’re getting a little closer together. I started timing them on my app — lasting 30 seconds every 5-6 minutes. I told josh we should go for a walk to see if they were still coming after that. We took a 2 mile walk then I took a fabulous shower. Around 11:15, I checked in with my midwife via phone call because all contractions were 3-5 minutes lasting 45-60 seconds. I also had still had the bloody show and baby wasn’t moving a ton.
We cleaned up the house so our dog sitter wouldn’t live in a mess, and left to go to the hospital. At 1pm we were in OB triage with contractions averaging 4 minutes apart. I was 70% thinned, 2.5-3 cm dilated, soft and a -1 position. The OB on staff said “we’re having a birthday today!” I stayed down there another hour to make sure we were progressing. By the time I got checked again and moved up to the labor & delivery floor (3:00pm), I was a solid 3 and 80% thinned.
The next 4 hours were spent in the labor & delivery room visiting with some family, still contracting about 4 minutes apart and being cared for by the hospital staff. Around 7, the midwife came in to check me and I was 5.5cm dilated with contractions 3 minutes apart lasting 45 seconds to a minute. She asked if she could break my water and I said yes.
The next hour of labor was probably the worst! My contractions were not necessarily closer together, but they were SO much worse. I did dilate to about 8cm, but was getting very nauseous, squeezing Josh’s hand and getting counter pressure applied by my sister on my back. I asked for an epidural at this point, but all the anesthesiologists were preoccupied in surgery. I figured I had missed my window to get one and was gearing up for how to get to 10cm and still have any energy left to push.
Like a gift from God, another anesthesiologist showed up at our door and administered the epidural around 8pm. I then took the best nap of my life — 2.5 hours of relatively pain free bliss after an exhausting day of labor. I woke up around 10:30 and was checked again around 11:30. I was completely dilated, but baby wasn’t quite in birthing position. Our options were to wait for him to move down or to bear down and push him down. We start to work towards pushing him down around 12:10am on 12/14.
Around 12:30, I got my first little peek at the top of his head. It was miraculous. This is around the time things got crazy — my contractions were coming further apart, but basically two on top of each other. Because they were coming back to back, Ryder was becoming distressed (his heart rate was dropping drastically). So now I’m pushing, on oxygen & shifting positions so that we can bring his heart rate back up after watching it drop dangerously low during contractions. This went on until about 2am when I was physically exhausted, Ryder was constantly being watched and dangerously close to not being okay, and they were going to start Pitocin because my labor had drastically slowed down (back to 5ish+ minutes apart).
The next 15 minutes were extremely hard – my midwife suggested a c section based on how poorly Ryders heart/oxygen levels were responding to labor, the way my body was slowing labor (probably to protect him) and the amount of time he’d been in the birth canal which wasn’t helping his heart rate (he was in an odd position with his head coming out at an angle). So at 2:18am, we decided to go in for a c section.
I was rolled into the room for prep at 2:43 and at 3:10 I had given birth to our beautiful baby boy. I wish that’s all we experienced, but our c section was so traumatic — because of how low Ryders heartbeat had been, we had a team of NICU nurses take him away as soon as they pulled him out. He wasn’t breathing and needed oxygen and suction to get him well enough to come out with us. This was essentially due to his location from pushing. One nurse had to push him up while the doctor pulled him out. Because of his position, my cervix and uterus suffered intense trauma and tore on both sides. They had to stitch me up extra inside and told me I could only deliver via cesarean if we decided to have more kids because the trauma was too great. We heard the doctor express in not appropriate IG words during surgery that this was not going according to plan and something was wrong. We didn’t know that it was this until he told us other, but we are thankful it wasn’t anything worse.
Between the trauma to my body, the meds in my body and the lack of anything but a bagel and a handful of grapes in 20 hours, I was extremely sick during and after the c section. I cried when they took Ryder away and didn’t bring him to us immediately. When they finally brought him out, josh held him and moved him over towards me to show me but all I could say was puke. I welcomed my son into the word with my face in the puke bag my amazing husband was holding with my son in his other hand. But once I knew my son was safe and healthy and in the hands of Josh, my body just gave in. They left to go back to the room (which Josh wasn’t happy about and was angry no one would tell him how I was doing) to do skin to skin.
Meanwhile, I was basically coming in and out of consciousness while the anesthesiologist kept trying to bring me back around while they finished closing me up. I was exhausted & in pain and my body didn’t really know how to respond. I could tell I didn’t look good based on the looks on my mom and sisters face when they rolled me back into my room and I could barely get my eyes to focus on anything. The nurse came over and got Ryder to put him on my chest for skin to skin and my body responded so well. They also brought me some ice chips that I began to eat.
Coming off the meds, the ice and holding my son must’ve been euphoric for me because probably 10 minutes later, I was a different human. Chatting with my family they let sneak in and competent in awe of my amazing son.
While our birth didn’t go AT ALL as I had thought it would, we could see Gods hand in all of it — the way he took care of me and Ryder and the staff he put into our crazy 20 hour journey. They were the sweetest & allowed my family to come meet our boy and take care of us far beyond visiting hours and policies. Y’all. My family is the real champs. Both sides of our family sat in the lobby of the hospital for 12 hours waiting on this baby to be born. They had work and life going on the next day and they sat and prayed and waiting for the news that he was here & healthy.
So far, we haven’t seen any adverse symptoms from his time under trauma and I’m healing from my c section as well as can be. If there’s one thing I can encourage my mamas to be with it’s this — have a plan and hold it loosely and fight for what’s best for you and your baby. Your health is more important than a birth plan or the opinion of someone in your life.
XOXO,
Hil, Josh & Ryder
hrmarciano 