If you are newly engaged or married, you are probably starting to think like I was at the time – I didn’t know that there could be so much ‘new’ in my life and all of it happening at the same time.
There are new people that you are meeting – friends and family of your significant other and attempting to remember all of their names and how they fit into the family so that you have something to talk to them about the next time you see them.
There are new bills to be paid – mortgages/rent, cell phone bills (holy cow!), power/electric, water (who know water cost so much?), cable & internet, car loans, college courses, retirement, student loans, credit card debt, Netflix (or Hulu or Spotify or Amazon), etc. NOT TO MENTION gas & groceries which add up really fast. Then throw in birthday presents, wedding/baby showers, weddings (& travel to and from), Christmas gifts & other parties/celebrations. Life is expensive (and that\’s without a ton of fluff). Josh and I joke that we totally took for granted how much our parents paid to just support us until we moved out & got married.
There are new routines that are trying to mesh when you were once independent and now have to somewhat plan your life around someone else. For those of you that don\’t know, I left Fort Myers to go to Liberty University for 3.5 years. My last semester of college, I moved back home to students teach in Lee County. During that semester, I met Josh (fell in love, right?) and we were engaged by Christmas. We bought a house in May and Josh moved in shortly after. There never was really a good time to move back out on my own because I was finishing off my student loans and paying for our new home.
There are new responsibilities. All those things that my mom used to handle growing up – yeah, that\’s my job now. I never knew that guys could possibly go through so many outfits (approx. 3 a day for Josh). I also feel like there is a never ending amount of dishes and grocery shopping and cleaning (dogs & husband = constant mess). AND THIS IS ONLY FOR THE TWO OF US. I can\’t imagine the amount of laundry and dishes when kids come along. I used to yearn for my mom to just come and sit down and talk to me, but it seemed like she was always unloading/reloading the dishwasher or folding laundry while listening to my high school drama. She was always there, just typically multi-tasking. Now I totally understand why – being a wife is a lot of responsibility. We\’ve come a long way in our two years of marriage and Josh is a total help in these areas these days, but it is still a lot of responsibility. And that\’s just the day to day stuff. Keeping up with things like getting your oil changed, replacing burned out light bulbs and changing air filters (oops for forgetting for 6 months) is a lot of responsibility too.
There are also new passions. I was an athlete in high school, but y\’all, I did not like working out. I worked HARD, but only at what I needed to do to get better for that particular sport. Well Josh comes from a family where his dad has always coached football and been a personal trainer. Josh has always wanted to be a personal trainer and did that, along with group fitness for different sports programs since I\’ve known him. He always tried to get me to come lift with him or run sprints with him, and when I wasn\’t giving in and trying it out, I was complaining about the amount of time he spent at the weight room. I didn\’t understand him when he says that it was a great stress reliever. In November, he started a job at a new gym and after about a month, convinced me to come in and give it a try. Guys! It has been so eye opening. For the first time since high school sports, I have found something that I really enjoy. I actually dread the days that I am too busy to go. I typically go right after work and I totally get what he meant now when he says that it relieves stress. I love that for 30 minutes a day, I can go and focus on myself and making myself better and stronger. I know I am a better person because I am taking care of myself (almost) every day!
Let\’s not forget that there are new foods. I say this partially as a joke, but everyone who has been in a serious relationship knows that there has been sometime when your significant other has eaten something and you look at them just trying to figure out who they really are. \”You like whattttt?\” What\’s even better is if this food is being served at a family dinner you are at and now you are trying to figure out how to be polite and (not) eat it without offending the cook. There are foods that Josh\’s family cooks that my family never did (and vice versa). Now as a wife, I am trying to bring both food preferences into our family (even if that includes lots of vegetables).
*Side note: Josh\’s family pokes fun at me because I told them that one of the foods I would never touch to my mouth is meatloaf. I stick with the line from Drake & Josh when Josh asks \”if meat should ever even be served in the form of a loaf?\” Anyways, they knew this about me and one evening we all went over to Meme\’s house (Josh\’s grandma) for dinner and she made, you guessed it, MEATLOAF! They all stared at me the whole meal to see how I was going to get out of eating it. In case you were wondering, I ate a few bites and slid the rest on Josh\’s plate when she wasn\’t looking.
And lastly, there are new adventures. I have tried so many new things and made so many amazing new memories since meeting and marrying Josh. The first one that always comes to mind is being a dog mom. We NEVER had a pet growing up (unless a goldfish counts?), so taking on a dog (and now two) has never challenged me more. This dog mom life is full of adventures, but each one of them leaves me smiling. I also fell in love with a new city (Clarksville, TN – where Josh grew up), and enjoy visiting there. I feel like each and every day is an adventure when you are married to a man like Josh.
So here I am with all my crazy stories just to simply share that there are times when all the new(ness) is completely overwhelming. There are days when I don\’t think I can handle it all. There are days when my house stays a complete disaster (as does my moms) because we will just sit on the back porch and chat instead of tending to our wifely duties. And I\’m here to tell you that IT\’S OKAY! He can wear something different tomorrow. You can eat off paper plates and drink milk right out the gallon. You can use a flashlight in the bathroom because all 4 of your vanity lights have burned out (I\’m not speaking from experience here or anything).
Embrace the new and take it one step at a time. Grow in your love for each other and for the people around you, and the new will slowly become your routine and you will laugh back at this adjustment period when it all seemed insane.
You got this. You are a rockstar.
– Hilary
hrmarciano 